25 THINGS I’VE LEARNED IN 25 YEARS

It’s official guys, as June 1st rolls around I’ll be pushing 30 (excuse me while I sob loudly in a corner). I’d like to think after 25 years on this earth I have some wisdom to share. So listed below are twenty-five things I’ve learned in the past twenty-five years.

  1. Always moisturize and take your make-up off at the end of the day, no matter how drunk and tired you are. You’ll feel and look a lot better in the morning. Plus, you’ll also help slow down the aging process.
  2. It’s okay to be selfish. Doing things for yourself and focusing on your needs should never make you feel guilty. You should help other people but within reason. Don’t spend your entire life taking care of someone else’s kid, picking up extra hours at work if you don’t need too or going to parties you have no interest in attending.
  3. Being single isn’t the worst thing because it means you don’t have to share your food. Alyssa doesn’t share food.
  4. Say yes to something that scares you every once and awhile. If I hadn’t pressed submit on my application to study abroad years ago I would not have evolved into the person I am today. I don’t think I ever would have traveled, started this blog or finished my degree in journalism. Saying ‘yes’ to studying abroad opened a whole new world of opportunities for me that I will forever be grateful for.
  5. Life is too short to have mediocre sex.  Stop faking your orgasms and tell your significant other what you like and don’t like–in a nice way. You’d be surprised but they probably don’t love some of the things you’re doing to them either.
  6. Don’t make excuses for other people. I lost out on a consistent job because I was always covering and making excuses for this girl who didn’t even like me. She would show up late or not at all week after week. I picked up the slack, finished my work and hers and never told anybody. By making excuses for her I screwed myself over. Now, I don’t care. If you’re not doing your work I’ll confront you about it because I’m not doing it for you.
  7. Don’t waste your time stalking your ex on Instagram. Or Facebook. Or Instastories. I did this everyday for so many months it became almost second nature like brushing my teeth. The day I finally stopped I felt a weight lift off my shoulders. Block them. Delete them. Snooze them. Do whatever you have to do so they don’t take up any more of your precious time.
  8. Social media doesn’t matter.  With every post on Instagram I found myself obsessively checking my feed to see how many likes I was getting. I would feel down when I would get twenty instead of fifty and be absolutely elated when I started to get more and more. Likes don’t matter. I was comparing my highlight reel to someone else’s. All social media is, is a facade.
  9. Always wear comfortable shoes when going to the club or traveling. No one is looking down at your feet in the club. Save the heels shoes for photos in the hotel room and then break out your flats twenty minutes later because the pain isn’t worth it. I learned this the hard way because I can barely walk in heels.
  10. Sometimes you outgrow your friends–and that’s okay. I clung to friendships because they were familiar and comfortable. I know now it’s better to have one friend or a close group of friends that you can rely on than twenty. Don’t waste your time on toxic friendships that are only weighing you down.
  11. Life is not a competition. I used to compare myself to everyone else I interned or worked with. In my eyes it felt like they were making leaps in their careers while I was going nowhere. I was embarrassed when I finally got my dream job and they were all congratulating me. I realized it wasn’t a competition. We were all on the same track in the same race. I should have been cheering them on instead of wanting to elbow them out of the way.
  12. Think before you speak. I used to say whatever popped in my mind and didn’t care about the consequences. Make someone cry? They shouldn’t be so sensitive. Make someone angry? They’d get over it. I didn’t realize how much my words hurt until I was put in the same position day after day. Now I’m more considerate of other people’s feelings because I hope they’ll do the same for me.
  13. You can’t change someone. Plain and simple. So stop trying.
  14. Lying is pointless. Own up to your shit. Did you screw up at work? Don’t lie to your boss. If you can’t fix it yourself admit it before they notice themselves. Don’t lie to your significant other, your parents or your friends. If you don’t want to go out to a party, dinner or whatever just say so. Don’t tell someone you’re getting ready when you’re not. It’s rude. Don’t waste their time.
  15. Pay attention to your spending habits and what you’re saving in your bank account. Give up the $5 tea or coffee every once in awhile. Save money when you can for the future or a trip. Be aware of any fraudulent account activity by checking your balance once a day. For the love of god, DO NOT GIVE YOUR SIGNIFICANT OTHER YOUR DEBIT CARD. I used to work for a bank. The horror stories I could share with you!
  16. Always take your medicine on schedule. Take your birth control the same time every day or else you’ll end up with a baby on your hip. Take your asthma pump daily like you’re supposed to or else you’ll almost pass out in kickboxing class.
  17. There is a direct link between stress and disease. Don’t overwork yourself. I learned this the hard way working two jobs. I used to never say no to extra shifts. I’d work all hours of the day everyday until I would get sick. Not a measly little cold either. I would get the flu. Strain my chest so it felt like I was having a heart attack and couldn’t move or throw out my back. I’m a little bit more mindful of my mind, body and soul now. When I feel like I’m reaching my limit I stop because being sick six months out of the year isn’t doing you or anyone else any good.
  18. Time does not slow down as you get older. Spend more time with your parents, grandparents and the rest of the important people in your life before they’re gone. My grandmother has dementia and can’t carry on a conversation anymore. There are so many things I wish I would have asked her when I was younger. How did you meet grandpa? When did you know you were in love with him? How did you know? What were you thinking when you got on a plane for the first time and left Puerto Rico forever? How do you make that special soup of yours?
  19. Traveling is expensive but is too rewarding to pass up. If I hadn’t studied abroad in Greece I would have never left the country. Traveling helps you grow in so many ways. It forces you to become adaptable, face your fears and teaches you things about yourself that you might not know. I learned I didn’t need to rely on someone else to make me happy and I didn’t always need someone around to do things with.
  20. Hard work doesn’t always pay off but that doesn’t mean you should slack off. It’s all about who you know in the industry I work in. I’m one of the few people that has gotten jobs by applying for them–not because I knew someone who knew someone, which meant it also took me a long time to get a job. I was bitter about it because so-and-so’s best friend/niece/nephew/sister/cousin twice removed could get a gig easily while I had to hustle for it. My hard work wasn’t paying off at first but that didn’t mean I took my job or the hunt for one any less seriously.
  21. If someone is being rude to you tell them to have a ‘blessed day.’ Try it out, trust me, it works!
  22. Hold your judgements for yourself. An ex-boyfriend of mine used to always say, “Different strokes for different folks,” whenever I would start gossiping about someone. He never joined in because he never judged other people. Who cares if they want to dye their hair fire engine red? Or wear all black? Why do you care? How is it affecting you? It’s not. Shut up!
  23. Grudges are a waste of time. I don’t remember why I became mad at XYZ but now they’re no longer in my life. Maybe if I let shit go they’d be in my life today.
  24. You’ll never get what you want unless you ask for it. I used to think if I worked hard enough I would get everything I wanted. Reality hit me hard when I was passed up for a promotion. The person who got the job had worked for the company half of the time I had, never wanted to put in extra hours to help out when we were understaffed and didn’t really know what he was doing. Why did he get the job? Because he asked for it. Make it known you want a promotion or a raise because no one will willingly give you anything.
  25. Embrace the suck. Sometimes you have really good days and sometimes really bad ones. Embrace the suck of a bad day instead of letting it get you down. Someone pissed you off? Screw them! Your boss yelled at you? At least it’s over! Your job sucks? Deal with it until you can get a new one. Once I embraced the suck my mood and life got better.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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Pop culture and political junkie sharing her travels with the world.

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