16 THINGS I’M TIRED OF HEARING

People are rude. There’s no nicer way to put it. They think they can say anything to you and then get upset when you’re offended. If it’s someone you’re close to they’ll say, “I’m just giving you some advice. I don’t mean anything by it. Why do you have to be so sensitive?” Excuse me, when you tell me I’m fat or smack food out of my hand I’m allowed to feel some type of way about it.

This past weekend I went to get my hair done and the woman that cuts my hair always has something to say about the fact that I’m single. I’m not worried about it. Why should you be? She took a look at my hair that I had to dye myself after a bad dye job elsewhere and then her eyes scanned my clothes and she said, “Alyssa, do you know why you’re single? It’s because your hair is black and your clothes are black. That’s not inviting. No one wants to date the Grim Reaper. You wear color, you find husband. Trust me, I know about these things.”

Who knew it was that easy! Let me go invest in some colorful tops and then the man of my dreams will appear.

I was annoyed when I left the hair salon because I’m seriously done with people commenting about my lack of a love life. It also got me thinking: what else am I tired of hearing from other people?

  1. “You’re Puerto Rican and you don’t speak Spanish? You should be ashamed of yourself.”Thank you for making me feel less than about being Puerto Rican, fellow Boricua. That really makes me want to learn the language. For your information just because I do not speak Spanish that does not mean I am a fake Puerto Rican or a disgrace to my people. I tried to learn for many years but the language has never stuck in my head. Stop shaming me for something I can’t control. Besides, my father didn’t speak Spanish because his mother remarried a non-Puerto Rican when he was young after his biological father passed away. So no, it’s not my parents fault. Stop shaming them and stop shaming me.

    2. “You sound white,” from Latin people. “You sound ghetto,” from white people.

    I wasn’t aware colors could speak. 🤦🏻‍♀️

    I speak how I speak. I do not sound like I come from ‘Kentucky Fried South’ or from ‘the hood.’

    My question is: have you actually been to Kentucky? And I’m not talking about KFC.

    Have you ever met anyone from ‘the hood?’

    Hood is short for ‘neighborhood.’ If that’s what you mean, then yes, I am from the neighborhood. I’m positive you’re from one as well.

    3. “You look like you gained weight.”

    Thank you for letting me know. My pants remind me every single day as I struggle to pull them on but I know you exist for the sole purpose of never letting me forget it.

    If you haven’t heard dear former high school classmate, I was diagnosed with PCOS. The symptoms are different for everyone but for me it makes it nearly impossible to lose weight.

    You too look like you have gained weight but I’m too polite to point that out or ask you about your dead beat boyfriend/husband. Also, is your Mom still paying your bills?

    4. “You need a make-over.”

    Thank you letting me know how ugly you think I am. You don’t like my style or hair? Tell me how the way I dress effects your everyday life? On a scale of 1-to-10, ten being you need to get a life and learn some manners.

    5. “Will Trump let you back into the United States?”

    Puerto Rico is part of the United States. It is not its own country. I was born in Queens, New York. My passport says U.S. citizen. No, it is not a fake passport. No, I am not Mexican.

    6. “You’re still single? You should start feeling desperate because in five years from now you’re just going to be in the same spot and end up alone. We won’t be here to entertain you.”

    I’m sorry, I didn’t know I asked you to entertain me. Please, step right up and begin juggling. I would also like some funny jokes and for you to feed me grapes as I sit back and relax.

    I am still single and I’m not desperate to be in a relationship. Thank you so much for your concern. Why don’t you worry about your relationship instead of the status of mine?

    Five years from now if I am single I’ll still be thriving.

    7. “Why don’t you smile more? You won’t give me a smile? You’re such a bitch.”

    Dear random men on the street,

    Please stop whistling and catcalling me. I do not want to be called ‘bonita’ and slip into your bed no matter how much you ask. I am not going to smile at you no matter how much you taunt me. If I’m a bitch because I’m trying to get to work on time while you’re standing on the street doing absolutely nothing I think you need to re-evaluate the situation.

    Signed,

    Annoyed women everywhere

    8. “Let’s hangout. I’ll text you.”

    I am still waiting for that text message three weeks later. It’s not like I rushed to do my errands or said no to other plans so I could hangout with you. I didn’t sit at home on a Friday night with my hair done and make-up on so the TV could appreciate my cut crease.

    Stop lying that you want to hangout. Say it was nice seeing you instead of getting my hopes up and then pretending you never got my texts.

    9. “When are you having baby?”

    Is this your way of telling me you want to babysit? Or that you’re going to donate your sperm to the cause? I wasn’t aware my empty uterus was your problem.

    10. “What’s your secret? How did you get that job? Who do you know?”

    You really want to know my secret? I’m not sure you’ll be able to handle it.

    Ready?

    I worked hard.

    Mind blown, right? No, I didn’t know someone. I applied. I went on the interview. I worked my ass off so I could get where I am today. Hard work pays off sometimes, you ought to try it.

    11. “Can you get me a job?”

    Hello, person that I haven’t spoken to in five or more years. Thank you so much for DMing me and asking for a job. It’s very kind of you to not ask how I’m doing first and pretend to show the utmost interest in me but still expect something in return.

    12. “You actually look really nice today.”

    Thank you for implying I look like shit every other day. It’s appreciated. It doesn’t make me feel self-conscious at all.

    13. “You’re pathetic because you still live at home.”

    Does that mean you’re offering to pay my rent? If you’re asking me to move in with you I’ll have to politely decline.

    Also, why is my living arrangement any of your business? Why do you care? How does this effect you!

    14. “You shouldn’t be complaining about money, you make more than me.”

    Thank you for reminding me and expecting me to pay for your dinner. You’re truly a great friend.

    Yeah, I make more money than you but I also have more bills to pay then you. Are you offering to pay some of them off because my VISA bill is pretty damn high.

    15. “No one is going to date you because you wear X, your hair looks like X and your attitude is X.”

    So I wear black and have black hair that doesn’t make me the Grim Reaper. Thanks for giving me a Halloween costume idea though. It’s greatly appreciated.

    Also, if someone didn’t want to date me because of the way I dress or the color of my hair I can assure you I don’t want to date them either.

    16. “You’re too sensitive.”

    Why wouldn’t I be after you complain about my hair, have something to say about the way I dress, don’t like the way I speak, shame me for not being Puerto Rican enough (whatever that means) and for not being a housewife.

    I’m positive I’m allowed to be sensitive in this situation. Hello, my name is Alyssa and it turns out I’m human. What brand of robot are you? They need to recall your batch.

 

What do people say to you that you’re tired of hearing? Let me know in the comments below. 

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Pop culture and political junkie sharing her travels with the world.

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