From the Loose Lips of a 5-Year-Old

Five years ago a comedian was born. My niece is a cheerleader, dancer, and chismosa by blood. Everyone that interacts with her can’t help but laugh. She wags her tiny finger at me on the regular and tells me to clean my room, questions why I would wear that and has perfected the side-eye.

Little Miss stares at my tattoos and says she wants some of her own: a pepperoni pizza with Snapple iced tea in the shape of a heart because that’s her favorite meal. Like most kids, the things that come out of her mouth are downright silly.

I’d like to think she gets her sense of humor from me and her attitude from my mother who likes to give me a once over and tell me I am in desperate need of a make-over, that I should salsa my way to love and does side lunges in my room to show me how to combat cellulite without me asking.

Kids say the darndest things, here are a few of my favorite lines courtesy of my niece:

Screen Shot 2018-04-05 at 5.39.10 PM.png

I’m pretty sure I was born in 1992 but if that makes me younger than her I’ll take it. 

unnamed

#dyingalone but at least my niece would marry me!

Screen Shot 2018-04-05 at 5.42.24 PM.png

I never did kiss any boys in that dress. 

Or go on a date in that dress. 

Or get married in that dress. 

And here we thought it was a magic dress. 

Screen Shot 2018-04-05 at 5.44.32 PM.png

If you’re single, own a dog, and have tattoos please feel free to comment down below. We’ve been searching for you everywhere. 

Screen Shot 2018-04-05 at 5.46.34 PM.png

If only she knew how much popcorn really costs…

Has a kid ever said anything to you that completely took you by surprise? Please share below. 

Advertisements

Posted by

Pop culture and political junkie sharing her travels with the world.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s