From the Loose Lips of a 5-Year-Old

Five years ago a comedian was born. My niece is a cheerleader, dancer, and chismosa by blood. Everyone that interacts with her can’t help but laugh. She wags her tiny finger at me on the regular and tells me to clean my room, questions why I would wear that and has perfected the side-eye.

Little Miss stares at my tattoos and says she wants some of her own: a pepperoni pizza with Snapple iced tea in the shape of a heart because that’s her favorite meal. Like most kids, the things that come out of her mouth are downright silly.

I’d like to think she gets her sense of humor from me and her attitude from my mother who likes to give me a once over and tell me I am in desperate need of a make-over, that I should salsa my way to love and does side lunges in my room to show me how to combat cellulite without me asking.

Kids say the darndest things, here are a few of my favorite lines courtesy of my niece:

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I’m pretty sure I was born in 1992 but if that makes me younger than her I’ll take it. 


#dyingalone but at least my niece would marry me!

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I never did kiss any boys in that dress. 

Or go on a date in that dress. 

Or get married in that dress. 

And here we thought it was a magic dress. 

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If you’re single, own a dog, and have tattoos please feel free to comment down below. We’ve been searching for you everywhere. 

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If only she knew how much popcorn really costs…

Has a kid ever said anything to you that completely took you by surprise? Please share below. 


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Pop culture and political junkie sharing her travels with the world.

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